Tuesday, October 5, 2010

who needs sleep?

I've been having the worst time getting to sleep lately. To start with I put off going to bed much later than I should because I know that as soon as the lights are off and my head hits the pillow it will fill up with the million and one things that are pressing in on me and stressing me out right now.

Some of these things I have a certain degree of control over, others, and these are the worst, I feel I have no control over what so ever. Or that no matter how hard I try it won't be enough. So I lay awake in bed trying to hold down all of the thoughts running through my head and just allow everything to empty out so that I can sleep. Eventually it usually works, but it's a struggle each night as my thoughts fight to push their way up, popping suddenly and without warning back into my field of vision.

I'm feeling frustrated and stressed out right now. Time seems to be slipping through my fingers like so many grains of sand and I just can't seem to hold on to it, or use it as I'd like to, as I need to.

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