I miss you

I need you.

hold me

I can’t sleep and I just want you to hold me in your arms

I can’t sleep and I can’t eat and all I want is to be in your arms

I can’t sleep and I’m trying to be strong, but I just want to be in your arms

I can’t sleep because I know  I’ll just dream of you and when I wake the worst nightmare of all will be real

I can’t sleep I’m a fighter and I just want to fight I want to stand by your side and fight alongside you

I can’t sleep I’m alone and there’s nothing to fight

I can’t sleep and I want to be strong for you but I just want to be in your arms

I can’t sleep and I feel like I’m losing my best friend

I can’t sleep and I just want you to hold me in your arms

Move Over Pixar

The new animated DreamWorks feature Megamind opened this weekend and if you haven't seen it yet you should.  Now I'm not normally one for animated films, I enjoy Pixar, but frankly I find their films to be highly overrated and often lacking in wit or subtlety.  For me Pixar often takes it just a bit too far whether it be with sentimentality on one end of the spectrum or with bathroom humor on the other. They are essentially Disney 2.0 and while that isn't a bad thing I think they get more attention that they deserve.  For instance I enjoyed UP and and found the opening montage particularly heartbreaking and the dog was also pretty hilarious, having a Labrador I could definitely relate to the retriever jokes.  UP was enjoyable, but other than that it wasn't anything special. The same can be said for WALL-E the first 20 minutes were breathtaking genius, but after that the rest of the movie is fairly weak and a bit preachy. 

Anyway enough about Pixar.  I went into Megamind not expecting much, I didn't think it would be awful, but wasn't really expecting brilliance either. But brilliant it was.  To start off this film has an amazing cast Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill and David Cross to name a few. And unlike some animated films that take actors' voices but smother their personalities Megamind managed the delicate balancing act of simultaneously allowing its cast to be themselves without letting any one personality overshadow the plot.  In fact this may be the best Will Ferrell movie I've ever seen, because while he's funny you don't spend the entire movie going "oh look at Will Ferrell hamming it up" in fact I found I was able to totally forget it was him and just enjoy the incredible dialogue.   The dialogue is incredible! It's funny without hitting you over the head or spelling things out, there were tons and I mean tons of jokes that you'd have to be in at least your mid 20s to fully appreciate and that doesn't even count all of the little details you could catch in the background, such as the nods to Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Maltse Falcon.

This film does something that I haven't seen in animation for a long time which is that while it is without question a kid friendly movie it's also peppered throughout with humor for adults.  Not just quick references either, really clever stuff that parents taking their kids to the movies will enjoy and 20 somethings looking for a fun night out will also fully appreciate.  So thank you Alan J. Schoolcraft and Brent Simons for realizing that if you're clever enough cartoons movies don't have to be written just for kids or just for adults, but can actually be written so that both audiences will equally enjoy them.

And if all of that weren't enough the animation itself is really incredible and easily rivals anything Pixar can do.  I saw Megamind in regular D as it were, although it is offered in 3-D and IMAX.  Honestly I don't think it needs either, the film can stand on its own without any gimmicks and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves. 

Happy Mustache --> :{D

Have you ever experienced that ever so disorienting feeling that time is simultaneously speeding up and slowing down?  A week will fly by in a blur and yet be packed with so much brilliance that everything that came before it becomes small and insignificant by comparison.  The past week and a half have been unreal, or rather they have been a new reality. 

I'm so happy it frightens me a little, but I think fear is a good sign.  Many of the things I'm most glad of having done frightened me at the beginning. 

a productive day

Okay so this post is in part just an excuse to post some lovely autumnal pictures and partly an opportunity to write a positive post.

I have a satisfyingly productive day today.

I got a decent start to my day. Allowed myself to sleep in just a bit, but was still up early enough to feel like I hadn't wasted my morning. First things first I finished decorating the house for Halloween, hopefully the rain/wind that started this evening doesn't wreck too much havoc. I particularly love the big spider that you can see climbing the tombstone. I got 3 of those total.

After putting the finishing touches on the decorations I spent a good chunk of my day studying. Pretty uneventful so I won't bore you with the details.


After reading for a few hours I got restless and decided to use some of the apples that I picked on Saturday to bake. I had planned to make pie, but I had to work at 6 today and I was worried that Pie would take too much time. For the heck of it I went online and just looked up "simple apple recipes" and found one that I decided would be worth trying. SUPER YUMMY! The recipe that I found online called them Apple Squares, but I'll have to think of something better to call them.

If you're looking for something to do with some extra apples here's the recipe, I highly recommend it, and I can be picky sometimes.

HERE'S ALL YOU NEED

• 3 large apples, peeled & diced
  
• 1 cup pecans, roughly chopped
• 2 cups flour (1/2 whole wheat, 1/2 all purpose flour)
• 1 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup canola oil or natural applesauce
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350ºF degrees.

Prep the apples and pecans, set aside. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, soda, cinnamon and salt together. Make a well, pour in eggs, oil, and vanilla. STIR BY HAND. The batter becomes very thick. Fold in the apples and pecans until well mixed. Pour into a well greased pan. There's enough batter to fill one 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake for 40 minutes.

*Also just a note I used two 8x8 pans because I wanted to take one to work, I also used 6 small apples instead of 3 large ones, I didn't have any whole wheat flour so I just used 2 cups all purpose, and I sprinkled just a little bit of brown sugar on the top when I was done. In spite of all my little alterations or perhaps because of them the result was delicious, crunchy on top warm and gooey on the inside. Some recipes, particularly for desserts, need to be fairly precise. This is definitely not one of them. It was quick easy and as for amount of apple the measurements seem to have some leeway.

Okay, New Day

Where I'd like to be right now

So my frustrations of the last few weeks haven't really lessened, but today is a new day and it happens to be a beautiful fall day.

For the next couple of months I know I'll swing back and forth between stressed out / frustrated and a more mellow controlled I can do this kind of feeling. I am still deeply concerned about the changes at work and the only that is making me reluctant to look for a new job immediately is that I've never liked my co-workers as much as I do right now.

Halloween is coming up and I think I might put up some decorations this afternoon after I get a little studying done. I know that to remain sane right now I need to be sure that I feel I am using my time productively for studying, but I also need to allow myself little breaks. Whether for decorating for Halloween, or baking or just watching a movie, spending time with friends or just spending some time with myself.

Getting time to myself when I can take a break from the studying or whatever else I have on my agenda is really important to me, it allows me to just be for a little bit and feel good about myself. It does make it hard though because I feel guilty about not spending time with friends that I haven't seen in a while, it's not personal I'm not avoiding them, but sometimes even something as simple as going to get a coffee with someone else feels more like work than a break. I find that right now when I have a free hour I'd much rather just take the dog to the park or a walk, or work on some little craft around the house that I've been meaning to get to than go get coffee with anyone. So if you are one of my friends that I haven't seen in a while, I'm sorry I am, but this is what I need to do right now, for my own sanity. I promise you will see me again, in a month or two.

Right so this has been a bit rambling, but I was feeling reflective and I just wanted to get my thoughts down. Thanks for reading, and I hope I didn't bore you.

more misery at the book store

In less than a week work has dropped so much s@%t on us as employees that I'm starting to wonder if we're part of a psychological experiment to see just how far retail employees can be pushed before the snap.

I came into work last Thursday and there is a memo in the break room that starting later this month all of our janitorial staff will be let go and employees will be responsible for cleaning the store. Which means they will need someone to come in mornings and clean the bathrooms vacuum etc. I'm sorry, but actual cleaning staff gets paid very well there is no way I'm going to do their job for my pay. Starting on Sunday the entire back section of the store is being rearranged, not because the current arrangement doesn't work, but because someone at corporate needed to prove that they should keep their job. In fact the new set up is incredibly awkward and inconvenient.

And the final straw, today all of the lovely new chairs that we got in the break room (to replace the perfectly good couch we had) have been moved out onto the floor because customers "need MORE seating." I'm sorry but the people who sit in those chairs all day and don't ever buy anything should not be encouraged! Mean while there is absolutely nowhere comfortable to sit now in the break room. I honestly find the entire thing incredibly disrespectful to the employees. A good business has happy employees, they don't screw them and short change them at every chance they get.

I am so frustrated and unhappy right now. This job may not have been the best job in the world, but I didn't hate it. I didn't dread going to work everyday in fact sometimes I looked forward to it. I love books and I really like all of the people I work with, but now I don't know.